Nothing's sweet about M.E!

It's been a quiet few weeks on the blogging front, mostly because I've been too utterly exhausted to even think in straight lines, let alone write in them! The reasons for this are partly down to my own lapse in wisdom, planning to do too many things in one week, and also partly down to the good old stresses and strains of life. The best way to explain the way M.E affects me is that I have to "budget my energy" on a day to day basis as well as week by week. I am not someone who will ever just give up and accept that this is my lot forever now, so I am aware that I try to push myself to do more than perhaps I ought to at times.

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about overdoing it with things I used to love, like walking, going for coffee with friends, shopping, partying, climbing mountains etc - I'm talking about simple things like conversation, a visit from a friend or even writing emails/blog posts! It's nothing earth-shattering, and I took all of it for granted before I got ill, but those visits, phone calls and emails are such lifelines that I don't like it when I push myself so far that I can't even manage them for a time. This week seems to be one of those times, so I've been a bit more careful to just rest and accept it, knowing my energy limitations. Not easy though, believe me. Especially when you can talk for England and you love seeing your friends.

M.E certainly has a way of stripping life down to its bare minimum, showing you what is truly important in life - and challenging you by even taking that away at times.
However, I will not give in. I will rest, of course I will - and I am. But I will not just sit back and let it get me down, isolate me or crush me. No chance.

Despite the title of this post, which states the obvious, there have been a number of positive things to come out of this whole difficult season so far. Although some friendships have inevitably been altered by my circumstances, others have flourished incredibly, and others still have grown out of nowhere. I genuinely thank God for these relationships which keep me going, keep me focussed and keep me smiling. Many people ask how it has affected our relatively new marriage and on the whole, despite the pressure it puts on both of us, I would say it has only brought us closer. I know that I am blessed beyond my own expectations to have such a supportive husband, friends and family. I just hope that I can repay each and every one of them when (fingers crossed) I am soon better.

However much longer this season lasts though, I will continue to dig deep and find those hidden treasures. They may be buried amongst pain, exhaustion, loneliness and struggle but when you find them, there's nothing so uplifting, nothing so therapeutic for the mind and soul, and certainly nothing so precious.